There are many things that go into being a queen. One must have grace, poise, a definite sense of humor…a power to lead and oodles of patience… But, above all else, one must know that they are queen.  And that is what I want to speak about today. A woman blessed with numerous God-given gifts, a presence that exuded the exuberance of life , and an energy that surrounded her projecting strength with an unnerving divine omniscience, eyes that danced playfully with their reception and a wry smile that held all  in its depths.

 

All were her subjects and those that didn’t know it, soon succumbed to her sphinx-like inquiries and quick wit. For me, it seemed a never-ending conundrum of glee and fright,I would have to be careful, sometimes feeling as though I were ending up the punchline of a joke- and it would happen in a flash, coming as stealth as a low midnight breeze leaving us wondering if it had ever happened at all.

 

As a child, I watched the light shine on grandmother’s house when Aunt Nellie tore up the driveway in her car. . We would laugh, run, and play, sometime running up the drive alongside to greet her. . She would care for us, mix us up in her love, combing  hair, helping us dress, cracking jokes, and always offering her “sermons” about what she expected from us. She would impart her wisdom with conviction and hug us tightly with her words- always summoning a deeper calling of self-love. “You are beautiful!” She would exclaim and she always reminded  us of how much God loved us.

 

She was the epitome of care and grace  with us kids, lined with a heavy direction of what we should do and why we should do it. Partly through humor and partly through patient sincerity. But, whatever was said, we were captivated with her air of creativity and  presence. The queen shone and all were captive and appreciative.

 

And in the years since, I must admit that I have been distant. With this internal hum of what I need to do, raising my child, trying to pave the world with my own gifts… I was , always affected by Aunt Nellie.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been pondering something and not certain that I should  even speak it… but, I realize that maybe she didn’t know…

 

That she may not have  see her own aura, her brilliance, and  grace.  That she may not have known that she was always the answer.  That what she may have taken for  the world’s silence was actually the world waiting for her command.

 

How I wanted her to come to Brown University in May and stand with the rest of our family. For my son to see all of the magnificent ancestors who had come before him and graduated so that his heart could be even more full. And as I walked the halls, I realized that Aunt Nellie’s presence was there, that her legacy still lingered in the heralded works of the institution. That her genius sat buzzing in the minds of young intellectuals like a fresh firefly in  a jar. I wanted her there to receive her own much deserved accolades.

 

Regardless of whatever is said and has been, Aunt Nellie you will and continue to be a role model in my outlook, perspective, and life. I hope to try to carry on your legacy by stopping to look in the mirror and see myself in all my form. To, hold my head high for my tiara and back straight to the sun with a gleam of light in my eye just like you.

 

But, again, you will always be and always were… A queen.